Concise Messaging in Startup Pitches

You'll never convince me that describing your startup as an 'AI platform for X' is the best way to get your message across and yet so many of the startups I meet do just that. Vague, jargon-heavy phrases do little to set a business apart or make the value proposition clear. Instead of leading with buzzwords or generic categories, focus on communicating your company’s mission, who you serve, and the specific problems you solve. For example, rather than saying an “AI platform for X,” describe the tangible impact your product or service delivers: “We help logistics companies reduce shipping delays by predicting disruptions before they happen,” or “Our solution enables retailers to personalize every customer interaction, increasing loyalty and sales.” This approach clarifies the offering AND makes it relevant and memorable to your audience. Unless you are building AI infrastructure, we can assume that you are powering your solution with AI and also using it internally to be the most efficient and effective. So I'm not sure that you need to lead with the AI part - it's really not the most important element. Ultimately, the goal is to make your company’s value unmistakable, so that anyone reading your description immediately understands not just what you do, but why it matters to them. So let's get back to basics and just say what we do!

Your startup story probably sounds like everyone else's. Traction, growth, success. Kurt Vonnegut, the famous American novelist, mapped why this fails: humans remember “shapes”, not facts. Without conflict and resolution, you're just noise in their inbox. Vonnegut drew stories as shapes on a blackboard - lines that rise, fall, or stay flat. He called "Man in Hole" the story people never tire of because it has the dramatic fall and climb that sticks: Character falls in hole. Character gets out of hole. We've loved this structure since the beginning of time because the brain prioritizes contrast. The fall creates tension. The climb creates relief. Together, they burn into memory while mundane details fade. Yet 90% of pitches are flat lines. Stuff like, "We help teams collaborate better." No tension. No relief. No memory. Compare that to Stripe's early pitch: "Every time you try to accept payments, you waste weeks on bank integration hell. With Stripe, just paste seven lines of code. First payment processes in minutes." Fall: weeks of integration hell Turn: paste seven lines Rise: processing payments in minutes Here's how to build a pitch that actually sticks: 1. Map the hole to a specific moment in their week Script for discovery calls: "Walk me through the last time this broke. What day? What were you trying to do? How long did it take to fix?" Write their exact answer. If they say "every Monday when we compile reports," your opener becomes: "Every Monday at 9am, you lose 3 hours to broken reports." Not "inefficient processes." Their words. Their moment. 2. The “turn” is one action that reverses direction Wrong: "Our platform automates workflows" Right: "Paste this webhook" (Stripe) Right: "Type instead of meeting" (Slack) Right: "Drag your file here" (Dropbox) Test: Can someone DO the turn in 5 seconds? If not, you haven't found it. 3. Show the slope change with their data Never say "you could save time." Instead: "Upload your last sprint's logs. See that pattern? That's 4 hours of debugging that disappears. Run it now." The shape creates urgency. Features create comparison shopping. A/B test template for cold outreach: Version A: Feature-first (what you probably use now) Version B: Hole-Turn-Rise (Man in Hole structure) Send 500 cold emails of each version to similar prospects. Measure reply rate. The “shape” version typically outperforms. Not because your product changed. Because the story's trajectory determines what sticks. Vonnegut knew: content doesn't drive memory. Shape does. Your product might be revolutionary. But if your story is a flat line, you're forgotten before they close the landing page.

Yesterday on a call, a founder paused and hit me with this: "Okay—but what’s the one thing my homepage has to nail?" Here’s what I said: "Don’t make your buyer do the thinking." And this is what I mean in practice: 1️⃣ Clarity beats cleverness every time If a potential buyer has to decode: - What you do - Who it’s for - How it works You’ve already lost them. Clarity isn’t boring. Confusion is. ___ 2️⃣ Pick a hill and die on it Messaging that tries to appeal to everyone… Resonates with no one. Stand for something. Intentionally turn the wrong people off. ___ 3️⃣ Cut the beige "Seamless", "best-in-class"... These claims get plastered on B2B sites. Speak like a human. Be specific. You need to be bold to be remembered. ___ 4️⃣ Show the before and after Paint a vivid picture in their mind: → Here’s the pain you're in → Here’s what at stake because of it → Here’s what life looks like after we help No transformation = no sale ___ 5️⃣ Don’t sell the tool—sell the shift No one buys “features”. They buy what these “features” unlock for them Stop pitching software. Start pitching status or safety. ___ 6️⃣ Make the buyer feel seen Mirror their thoughts before they’re spoken: “You’ve tried X. You’ve done Y.” “But Z keeps happening.” ___ 7️⃣ Kill the “me too” proof Enterprise logos. Fancy badges and awards. Everyone and their mom has them. But real proof? Screenshots, snappy quotes, before-afters. Specific wins for specific people. That’s what hits hard. Your buyer isn’t here to connect dots. They’re here to get it—fast. Make your messaging obvious. And let the right buyers pre-qualify themselves.

𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐏𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲: 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 One of the key challenges for any founder is speaking clearly, compellingly and, crucially, concisely about what they’re doing, why they're doing it and why others should care. Being concise is often a huge challenge, because founders have likely been thinking about this for a while and have a lot of detail they could share – and want to share! - with the rest of us, but for most people, clarity is created when you share less, not more. This challenge is especially acute for social entrepreneurs because they situate their business within a social or environmental context, driven by a more meaningful and complex why than making money. They are also often systems thinkers who - speaking for myself here – can get too high-level and detailed in describing the problem they are addressing, the dynamics that give rise to that problem, the ethical implications of that, and so on. This becomes overwhelming and leads to confusion and tuning out. If you’re talking to someone at an event and they’re looking around for someone else they know, you’ve likely hit this point. The truth is, outside of specific contexts, people don't have time for this, and you usually don't have the space. When considering your impact initiative, at a pitch event or via a crowdfunding campaign, they need to know three key things: Mission, Model and Match. 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧: What is the change you are bringing about? What's your vision of a better future? 𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥: How do you bring this future into being? This is your value proposition for customers – the How has to be something they want, even if they don’t see the big-picture outcome (Mission) you are going for. 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡: What’s the challenge in front of you now? How can they help you overcome it? And you need to share these in just a few minutes, max. It takes practice, discipline, and the right structure.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but most people have no idea what you're building, and probably don't care. If you want to break through the noise, start with the Grandma Test. I've been doing tech PR for over a decade, and part of what makes me successful is that I represent the "average person." I am aware of technology, I want technology to make my life better, and I'm convinced that 90% of the tech out there doesn't need to exist. When I'm working with founders on their messaging, I make it clear -- you have to convince me this technology is important if you ever stand a chance of convincing anyone else. For most founders, the folks in their immediate circles are other tech people. It's easy enough to use industry jargon, compare your company to other startups, and ride the wave of market trends. The difference between selling a product and creating a movement, however, lies in your story. And the stories that win are the ones that everyone can understand -- the ones that clearly convey to me, "average person," how the work you are doing impacts my life. That's why I tell founders who want to develop their thought leadership that the first step is to pass the Grandma Test. Self explanatory. Tell your grandma in 2-3 sentences what your company is building. (Or if you're like me and all your grandparents are gone, tell it to a friend or family member completely outside of the industry.) If she responds with, "That's great!" or something similar -- you failed. Messaging should inspire dialogue. There should be follow up questions, intrigue about what you're building, some sign that they are pondering how they would interact with your company. For most founders, refining this kind of messaging takes work. Consider asking these follow up questions after your pitch: - What do you think I do? - Can you repeat back to me in your own words what I just shared? - Who do you think would use my product? - How do you think my work could make your life better? The best communicators are the best listeners. Keep refining your messaging based on the responses you receive. Once grandma is on board, you are good to go.

As a General Partner at Vibranium.VC, I see almost 100 messages a day from hopeful startups. Let me share some patterns I've noticed – and how you can stand out: ❌ First, what NOT to do: - Long-winded Emails: Your novel is your passion, but in my inbox, brevity wins. - Comedy Club Pitches: Humor is great, but clarity and focus are what I'm looking for. - Cliché Greetings: "I hope this email finds you well" is the quickest path to the archive. - Spray and Pray: Mass emailing is to networking what fast food is to fine dining. Just don't. - NDA Front Gates: Trust is a two-way street; let's have a conversation first. ✅ Now, for the wins – your DO's for higher open and reply rates: - Be Direct: A short, sharp message with investors name, fund, and focus catches attention. - The One-Pager: One page that sings your startup's story is music to an investor's ears. - Align Our Stars: Ensure your startup's focus matches my investment thesis. - Persistence with Grace: A thoughtful follow-up shows determination, not desperation. - Data Talks: Specific numbers and milestones speak louder than buzzwords. Personalized outreach is an art. As investors, we're looking for that perfect blend of passion, precision, and potential. Nail that, and you'll not only get your email opened – you might just get the desired call. #StartupTips #InvestmentOutreach #VCAdvice #Entrepreneurship #VibraniumVC

Here's how to simplify your pitch and 10x your sales: 1. Talk less, sell more. Short sentences = more sales. Hemingway once bet he could write a story in 6 words that'd make you feel something: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." Your pitch should pack the same punch. 2. Complexity is for people who want to feel smart, not be effective. The worst salespeople make simple things sound complicated. The best make the complex simple. 3. Complexity says, "I want to feel needed." Simplicity limits to only what is needed. 4. Read your pitch out loud. I remember when I'd asked my COO to read the manuscript of my book. He chose to do it aloud. All 258 pages. Ears catch what eyes miss. The final version reads like butter. 5. "Be good, be seen, be gone." This was the best sales advice I ever got. - Good: Deliver value - Seen: Make an impression - Gone: Don't overstay your welcome People buy from those they remember, not those who linger. 7. Speak like your customer, not a textbook. We like to sound sophisticated. "We create impactful bottom-line solutions." But we like to listen to simple. "We help small businesses explode their sales." Which one would you buy? 8. Every word earns its place. Your pitch should be lean and mean. - Be specific - Avoid cliches - Check for redundancy - If it doesn't add value, cut it out 9. Abstract concepts bore. Concrete examples excite. ❌ "We'll increase your efficiency." ✅ "We'll save you 10 hours a week." Paint a picture. 10. People buy on emotion & justify with logic So tap into their feelings: - Fear of missing out - Desire for success - Need for security Then back it up with facts. 11. The "Grandma Test" never fails. If your grandma wouldn't get your pitch, simplify it. No jargon. No buzzwords. Just plain English. 12. Benefits > features. Dreams > benefits. ❌ "Our group hosts 10+ events per year." ✅ "Our program helps you close deals." 🚀 "Let's take back Main Street through ownership." 13. Use power words: - You - Free - Because - Instantly - New These words grab attention and drive action. Two final things to keep in mind... Simplicity isn't just for sales. Apply these principles to: - your business operations - your thinking processes - your next investment - your relationships - your to do list Sales isn't just for car dealerships. You pitch when you: - Negotiate a raise - Interview for a job - Post on social media - Hire someone for a job - Talk to an owner about buying their biz If you found this useful, feel free to share for others ♻️

"We built an amazing product. Why isn't anyone buying it?" This question haunts founders more than any other. The answer usually isn't about the product—it's about the messaging. When I audit struggling startups, I consistently find they're talking about features instead of benefits, themselves instead of their customers, and what their product does instead of what their users need. I'll use Upwork as our example throughout this post—a platform that transformed how it speaks to customers by focusing on outcomes rather than features. Ready to make the pivot? Think of your messaging as a house with a strong foundation and clear structure: The Messaging House Framework 1. Start with prospect pain points (the foundation)  → What's no longer working for your customers?  → What are they struggling with daily?  → What's costing them time, money or peace of mind? Example: "I run through dozens of freelancers for every project. I'm struggling with reliability and trust in my workforce." 2. Articulate desired outcomes (the first floor)  → What's their desired arrival point?  → What do they want to accomplish?  → What would success look like to them? Example: "I want to build my business. I wish I could get access to freelancers I can count on." 3. Address concerns proactively (the walls)  → What makes this change difficult?  → What objections will they have?  → What do they need reassurance about? Example: "How long does it take? Are they any good? Can they work on a project basis?" 4. Deliver key messages & proof points (the roof)  → How does your product help achieve their desired outcome?  → What specific evidence proves your claims?  → What social proof can you provide? Example: "Select and hire vetted freelancers in minutes without complex contracts for project or continuous work." 5. Frame it all with a benefit-led statement (the chimney)  → A clear, concise statement that ties everything together  → Focuses on benefits, not features  → Speaks directly to their desired outcome Example: “Build your business with vetted freelancers" The most successful startups I work with don't just build this messaging house—they live in it. And use the language of their customers in their messaging. Every team member can articulate these elements, ensuring consistent communication across all touchpoints. When was the last time you reviewed your messaging framework? Does it speak to features or benefits? Share your thoughts below 👇 ♻️ Found this helpful? Repost to share with your network.  ⚡ Want more content like this? Hit follow Maya Moufarek.

99% of startup pitches are confusing. Not because the idea is bad— But because the founder can’t explain it in 60 seconds. Here’s the fix: 👉 The One-Minute Pitch framework (save this). Use it to turn messy ideas into fundable clarity: → Problem: What deep pain do you solve? → Solution: What have you built that actually matters? → Differentiator: Why are you not just another copy-paste startup? → Market Size: Is this worth a VC’s time or not? → Traction: What proof do you have that users care? → Team: Are you the right person to build this? → The Ask: What are you raising, and for what milestone? Founders who can nail this in under 60 seconds: → Raise faster → Get better intros → Avoid cringe rejections like “too early for us” (when it’s really “too confusing”) Use this in: → Investor meetings → Cold DMs → Demo Day → Website landing copy → Even dating apps if you're bold 💡 Pro tip: If your team can’t all say the same version of this pitch, you don’t have alignment. You have chaos. Steal this framework. Make it your pitch weapon. Want brutal clarity on your startup? Skip years of wasted effort and stop making expensive mistakes. Get direct advice on your deck, fundraising, GTM, or founder challenges. Book a no-BS 1:1 call with me here: https://lnkd.in/gWV8DT56 ♻ Repost to spread the framework. 🔔 Follow Anshuman Sinha for more Startup insights. #Startups #Entrepreneurship #VentureCapital #LeanStartups #Innovation

Most first-time founders make the same rookie mistake when fundraising: They bury their potential investors in a mountain of details. It's like that quote: “I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.” — Mark Twain These entrepreneurs naively assume that the more information they share, the stronger their case for an investment. But, this usually ends up biting them in the ass. I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve been guilty of this, too — I’ve bombarded investors with data and information to prove to them that my company was a winner. I needed to convince them that I was right. It took me a long time to finally learn my lesson, but I eventually came to the realization that founders should operate with the underlying assumption that everyone is lazy. It’s easy to forget that most investors are bombarded with dozens of emails and pitches every single day. When investors are overloaded with information, they usually decide to skim over the email. And, when they do this, they’re more likely to miss the details most important to your pitch… and that’s assuming they read your email at all. When pitching potential investors for the first time, it’s important that you: 1. Only include the MOST important information 2. Get to the ask as quickly as possible Remember: Less is more. A few other useful tactics for any email pitch: - The email should be 2-5 sentences, 125 words. No more than 200. - Include your pitch deck (A PDF file. not Google Slides, not PowerPoint, not Docsend) - Link to your prototype or even better, a working product. CPG founders should link to their brand deck and visual renderings. - Demonstrate knowledge of the firm and why your company fits its thesis - Make a specific ‘Ask’ (phone call, opportunity to pitch in person, etc.) Like I said, everyone is lazy. The easier you make it for your potential investor to say “yes”, the more likely they are to do so.